Is there a name or acronym for the worst time for a run? WR (worst record)?
I approached this morning’s race with no expectations. With the full canceled and the expected high temps, I went into it as if it were just another training run.
My normal pre-run breakfast: toast with sunflower seed butter, a banana, and iced coffee.
Ellie guarded my bag while I stood in line for the porta-potties. It took longer than I had expected but I made it back about fifteen minutes before the start. I dropped off my bag and we took a photo. We look happy, probably because it wasn’t hot yet and we weren’t running yet.
After this, I have no photos, only words.
The first eight miles went well; although Mel and I left Ellie behind around mile six (with her permission), we held a decent pace considering the temps. We walked through every water/Gatorade station. I stuck with water because I had GU Brew in my water bottle. My knee felt great and the band didn’t bother me at all. I made the decision to take three GUs, so by this point I had had two.
Mile nine is when I started to fall apart, mainly mentally but probably also physically. My body felt fine, no pain, but the heat made it difficult to breath. Right after running by Monona Terrace, I felt panicky, but luckily I had Mel to talk me through it – she’s a doll and knows what I was feeling. I took LOTS of walk breaks for the rest of the race; once I needed one, I just kept “needing” them.
Around mile eleven, I gave Mel the thumbs up to take off without me; she was feeling good and had actually been singing “Dog Days Are Over” to me to keep my mind off of everything. I kept my head down, ran and walked for the rest of it, and finished in 2:19.
Worst half marathon time. Yes, I told myself this race didn’t matter, but it’s hard to see those extra ten minutes on my time.
Alone, I wandered around, chugged a chocolate milk, and went to pick up my bag from the gear area. I got there, told them my number, and they couldn’t find it. Searching the bags, double-checking the numbers on the blue tags, the workers were confused. That is when I broke down – sobbed like baby. As I have explained before, I often feel super crabby at the end of a long run. Add that to the thought of losing a wallet, cell phone, camera, clothes, etc. and I hope you can understand my reaction.
I sat down, calmed my self down, and waited. Ten minutes later, they found it…with a different bib number tag on it. Back when Ellie and I got ready to put my bag in the gear area, I accidentally grabbed her tag with her number. I cried for the second time that morning when they handed me my bag, but these were tears of joy and relief.
Brody and I met for breakfast at Daisy’s Cupcakery, but I wasn’t especially hungry. Despite my lack of appetite, I ate most of the strata I ordered and the fruit but left the potatoes.
Now I am home, showered, dressed, and ready to go to a housewarming party and a graduation party this afternoon.
There is a part of me that just wants to throw in the towel and not do the full. After today’s race, my confidence to run the full distance is waning. I will fight through those negative feelings and continue to prepare for the full of June 10th. I will keep telling myself, “I can do this” even if I don’t totally believe it right now.