I pride myself on being a positive, optimistic person. Almost to a fault. I want to believe that everyone has my/their/everyone’s best intentions in mind. Often times this means I am gullible and slightly naive.
On my drive home from work, a bar on Main Street posts funny phrases or jokes on their signage. The one that’s been up there for a while says something like “If you say gullible really slowly, it sounds like oranges.” Wouldn’t you know it, but I tried it the first time I read it.
My naivety, of course, carried over into my pregnancy. I thought I’d be a “good” pregnant person. Even the fact that I thought there was such a thing as a “good” pregnant person demonstrates my naivety. So, what did that mean to me?
1) I’d be able to run through most of my pregnancy. While I’ve been able to stay active (walking, group fitness classes, elliptical), the running officially ended around week 24. I miss the sweating and the feeling of tired legs the next day.
2) I wouldn’t experience any of the icky, unpleasant side effects of pregnancy (e.g. varicose veins anywhere, nausea, frequent trips to the bathroom, etc.). I’ve talked about these before, so no need to rehash.
3) I would gain a healthy and not excessive amount of weight and then drop it quickly post-birth. Well this one I don’t know if I have “failed” at yet, but I have been lucky in that I haven’t gained too much for my frame and haven’t been retaining water.
4) I would eat well (even better than pre-pregnancy with lots of vegetables and limited sugar) to give my baby the best nutrition and a variety of tastes while in the womb and not need to take the three-hour glucose test because I failed the first one. It’s not that vegetables don’t taste good, I just don’t think to make and eat them. This and my sugar intake are completely in my control – like many people, I don’t always make the best choices. As for the failed test, read below.
Yesterday, my doctor’s office called to say that my glucose levels were slightly elevated. The top of the range is 140, and mine came back at 155. This means I have to go in tomorrow morning on an empty stomach, chug more orange sugar water, and get my blood taken a few times. Also, I obviously cannot eat for three hours. My “I suck at being pregnant” and “This doesn’t happen to ‘good’ pregnant women” moment happened soon after this news.
After a little research at home, I realized that it’s not all that uncommon for glucose levels to be high, and that having a high number on this test does not mean I will test positive for gestational diabetes. Also, I know that having gestational diabetes is not the end of the world but may require some editing to my eating habits. Lastly, gestational diabetes, when controlled, does not affect the baby and should go away on the mother’s end after birth.
Still, there’s that little part of me that’s bummed. Some of these feelings could likely be attributed to hormones, but some of it might also be my unrealistic expectations being brought back down to reality. Pregnancy is hard; giving birth will be hard; being a mom will be even harder. Maybe this is all in preparation for the rest of the hard stuff to come.
Finally, I cannot write a post like this and not make this clear: I am SOOOO lucky to be pregnant with a healthy, growing baby, and to have an amazing husband, a great (small) family, and wonderful friends. I love my life and do not take it for granted.