Struggling with those last few pounds? Well let me tell you – cryptosporidium is the way to go.
First of all, it has a sweet, hardcore name. Doesn’t it remind you the gang, the Crips? Crypto definitely gives rhabdo a run for its money in this category.
Also, it’s free! While you may have to pay for the water to get crypto, there are no monthly fees. Plus you can keep eating the foods you normally do.
Which brings me to the last point: food doesn’t sound good so you’ll stop eating as much and as often. Knowing that whatever you will eat will not stay in your body for long really makes you not want to eat.
The downfall? When you’re done with this diet, the pills are pretty expensive: $700 for thirty pills. Luckily I only need six to stop the crypto, and with insurance, it was $50.
Okay, enough sarcasm.
Somehow, I contracted cryptosporidium, a gastro-intestinal illness. It is possible I got it while traveling, as it can take two to ten days for the symptoms to start, but I will never know where it came from. In 1993, Milwaukee experienced an outbreak of crypto when the city’s water was contaminated. As no one else around me is sick, I highly doubt it is from Sun Prairie’s water.
It is true that I have lost weight, but I’m sure it’s mostly water. I would much rather have those few pounds back if it meant I didn’t have to deal with this.
I’m just happy I know what’s wrong with me and have (expensive) medicine to make it go away.
What is the strangest illness you’ve ever had?